By Tom Peterson

The Dalles, Ore., March 27, 2025 — The Dalles Elks Lodge 303 with its 100 plus members have been hard at it this past year, collecting tips, grilling burgers and dealing cards. 

It’s all part of their magic giving recipe and all those events stack up.

Today, March 27,  The Elks Lodge gave more than $8,200 to the Meals on Wheels program at the Mid-Columbia Senior Center at the community meal held at noon.

It was quite a celebration as the program run by mostly volunteers delivers cost-effective meals for our local seniors.  

Exalted Ruler Bill Seymour said Elks collected tips at hamburger bashes and they were grilling up all over the place including the Junior Livestock Show in Tygh Valley and Wasco County Fair. Members were also upping the ante at the poker table with weekly games and monthly tournaments with a portion of proceeds going to the stock pot. 

“It was a year-long fundraiser,” he said noting they have just over 100 members. “That’s $100 to $80 per member, and that’s pretty good.”

Meals on Wheels is currently serving around 150 people daily with their home deliveries. They also serve around 40 people Monday through Friday in the dining room at the Senior Center.
For anyone over 60 on site or on the route, the suggested donation is just $4 a meal.

By Joshuah Albert and Tom Peterson

The Dalles, Ore. March 27, 2025 — A Hood River man who was a passenger in an eastbound vehicle near Mosier on Interstate 84  was arrested Tuesday morning after allegedly assaulting a woman  and grabbing the steering wheel which caused the car to crash, according to Oregon State Police.

Officials say such incidents are rare, but at the same time this is the second time for this to allegedly occur on the Interstate between The Dalles and Hood River in 8 months. 

“You’ve mentioned the only two I can ever think of in last year, and I have difficulty of thinking of any other ones than those two,” said veteran OSP Sgt. Mark Jubitz. “This is not super common, but it happens occasionally.” 

On Tuesday, March 25 a Trooper responded to a single-vehicle crash near milepost 68 just before noon. During the investigation, the female driver told officers she and her male passenger were in a relationship and had gotten into a physical altercation while driving.

She told police the man assaulted her and grabbed the steering wheel, causing the vehicle to crash.

The passenger, 19-year-old Azareel J. Reyes-Zamora of Hood River, was arrested on charges of fourth-degree assault and reckless driving. He was medically cleared and lodged at NORCOR.

The driver was transported to Providence Hood River Memorial Hospital for injuries sustained in the crash.

The vehicle, a black Chevrolet Impala, was towed from the scene by Guzman Brothers Towing.

Second Time in 8 Months

Back on August 22, 2024 a similar wreck occurred, according to OSP reports. 

Oregon State Police arrested a 54-year-old woman after it was alleged she was in a verbal fight with the driver and yanked on the steering wheel causing the Dodge Charger they were riding into to roll over on Interstate 84 near Rowena. 

“The driver and the passenger were in a verbal dispute when the passenger grabbed the steering wheel and cranked it to the right,” the report states. “The passenger denied it and claimed the driver was traveling 95MPH and attempted to get her phone, and it caused the crash. She claimed she filmed the driver on her phone. She allowed a search and there was no video of the incident. A witness to the crash stated the Dodge was traveling at around 75MPH and not 95MPH. The road evidence suggested that the vehicle had a rapid and sudden turn, collaborating the driver’s statement.”

The passenger Carolyn Denice Hailes, no address listed, was arrested for Reckless Driving and Reckless Endangerment. 

“The time and place to argue is not probably in the vehicle driving down the road,” Jubitz added. “Pull over and have a space to express feelings. Don’t do it in a vehicle where people feel they are cornered.” 

By Tom Peterson

The Dalles, Ore., March 26, 2025 — Put on tank top.

Tie shoes. 

Float like a blossom falling from a cherry tree and find your line in one of the funnest foot races in the Gorge.

Columbia Gorge Community College is is giving runners a sweetspot as they bring back the Northwest Cherry Festival Fun Run on Saturday, April 26 after a five-year hiatus prompted by the unfundemic. 

The race is a fundraiser for the CGCC Cross Country Team. 

CGCC Director of Marketing and Communication Tom Penberthy said he was excited to get help from locals all over the Gorge in organizing the race. 

He said Cross Country legend Bob Thouvenel of The Dalles and Torry Lindbo of the Columbia Gorge Running club have helped him in getting the race organized. 

Click here to register. See, organized! 

Cost to register is $15 for 3k, $20 for 5k and $25 for 10k.   

Penberthy said he arm-wrestled with his boss Sue Davis, Executive Director of the CGCC Foundation, over who would get to run in the race.  

“She said she could run in it, if I would run it,” Penberthy said, laughing.

All races begin at 8 a.m. at Dry Hollow Elementary, 1319 E. 19th Street.

The course for the 10k is a circuitous route starting with a half mile on Dry Hollow then following 3-Mile Road for several miles with a nice short climb and then returning to Dry Hollow Elementary on Dry Hollow Road. 

“The High School blessed us to take this over, and we are getting lots of help from people who know how to do it right,” Penberthy added.

From City of The Dalles Public Works Department:

By Jill Hoyenga

The Dalles, Ore., March 26, 2025 — On Monday, March 31, 2025, the City of The Dalles Public Works will begin work on E 9th St. at the intersection with Quinton St. to replace and upgrade a sanitary sewer main and a storm sewer main.

Full street closures on E 9th St. from Oregon St. to E 10th St. will remain in place from Monday, March 31, 2025, to mid-June. Motor vehicles and bicyclists will be detoured to adjacent side streets. Pedestrian and sidewalk access will remain open through the duration of this work.

Work hours are from 7:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. on each scheduled work day. But the trench must remain open until work is complete. Pavement restoration is expected to be completed later in the year.

Please proceed with caution in this area during lane and street closures. Please observe all temporary traffic control devices. Thank you for your attention to traveling safety during this work.

No parking will be allowed within the project areas to allow room for large equipment to work safely. No parking signs will be placed on the curb 48 hours before the project begins.

Go to thedalles.org/e9thst to view an online map on Perimetermap.com.

If you have questions, please contact the Public Works Department at (541) 296-5401.

By Tom Peterson

The Dalles, Ore., March 26, 2025 — The message from Mike Nagle flashed a giant sign of relief on Tuesday.

The Barber at Uppercut wrote: “FYI River City Saloon is opening today. I think he told me 4 p.m.”

The hook was set.

Joe Kirkwood has been working on the place for months at NE corner of Washington and Third streets.

Curiosity was killing the cat, and this cat was thirsty for a frosty pint after a laborious conversation with a local attorney.

We arrived around 4:30 p.m. and the place was jumpin.’

Kirkwood had the full bar in place, the kitchen was working and a majority of the tables were filled.

Mike, myself and my wife Peggy grabbed a table and dug into some amber glasses of bliss. Pints were $7. The simple menu also had some great starters like ‘Perfectly Crispy’ onion rings that are tender on the inside for $10.

Staff was fast and friendly even as they were learning the Point of Sale system in this innaugural day of business.

Conversation was quick and lively over the crack of pool balls at the table near the entrance.

Kirkwood is somewhat of a local legend with his eclectic taste in music, and he has for years delivered a great diversity of bands when he operated the River City Saloon in Hood River, prior to being displaced by the hotel renovation project at 2nd Street and Cascade Avenue.

And Joe is wasting no time in The Dalles.

His first show is set for Saturday, March 29 with Balladiers: a Gorge based funk/ jazz/ latin fusion band guaranteed to get the crowd dancing!  Band Jovi, a tribute band to Bon Jovi will follow.

Show starts at 8 p.m.

I’m a cowboy

On a cold pint I ride

I’m wantin’ music (music) and jive

I want it dead or alive.

In The Dalles, the day will start relatively calm, but conditions are expected to deteriorate later in the afternoon, with a 30% chance of thunderstorms developing after 5 p.m. Some storms could become severe, bringing risks of hail and strong, damaging winds. High temperatures are expected to reach 76°F. Severe conditions will persist into the night, with thunderstorms nearly certain and gusts potentially reaching 24 mph. Rainfall amounts between a quarter and half an inch are anticipated overnight.

In nearby Hood River, the severe weather threat begins slightly earlier, with thunderstorms possible after 4 p.m. The probability of storms increases significantly overnight, reaching 100%. Forecasters predict similar impacts, including damaging winds and substantial rainfall, totaling up to half an inch. Temperatures will peak around 73°F during the day and drop to around 46°F overnight.

Across the Columbia River in Trout Lake, Washington, residents can also expect deteriorating conditions late Wednesday afternoon. Thunderstorms may become severe after 2 p.m., with rainfall and wind gusts up to 30 mph overnight. Rain accumulation is forecasted between a quarter and half an inch, and overnight temperatures will dip to around 41°F.

Severe weather is projected to continue through Thursday and into Friday across the region, with persistent rainfall and additional thunderstorms possible. Residents are encouraged to stay informed through local media and NOAA weather updates, securing loose objects outdoors, and preparing for potential power outages or interruptions to travel.

Authorities remind residents to seek shelter indoors if severe weather occurs and remain vigilant to updated weather alerts as conditions evolve.

By Joshuah Albert

The Dalles, Ore., March 25, 2025  — The Children’s Wing of The Dalles Public Library was packed Monday afternoon as families gathered to watch The Reluctant Dragon, a spring break puppet performance presented by Dragon Theater.

The show, which ran on March 24, was led by Jason Ropp, a Portland-based puppet master with more than 30 years of experience. Ropp regularly visits The Dalles to perform his handcrafted shows.

The story followed a gentle dragon who must prove his kindness to a frightened village, a knight eager to prove himself, and a shepherd boy who helps them find common ground. The trio stages a fake battle to convince the townsfolk that the dragon has been tamed.

Children in the audience were captivated by the highly detailed narrator puppet, a dragon with expressive features. Cheers erupted as new characters were introduced — the kind king, the brave knight, and the clever shepherd.

A surprise appearance by the Grim Reaper, who mocked the knight’s plan to fight the dragon, brought a mix of boos and laughter until children shouted the character off stage.

The dragon’s eventual appearance drew gasps and a few screams, especially when it turned its beady eyes toward the audience. The climactic duel between the dragon and the knight ended in a comedic stalemate and a heartwarming message: neither wanted to fight, and both were better off as friends.

The performance offered a mix of humor, suspense, and teamwork, making it a highlight of the library’s spring break programming.

Hood River, Ore., March 25, 2025 — The Hood River City Council awarded the contract for the 129-unit affordable housing project at 780 Rand Road at its meeting on March 24.

Mariposa Village Affordable Housing Development

Council agreed to the terms of the Purchase Option Agreement with a joint venture of Community Development Partners and Columbia Cascade Housing Corporation. The City of Hood River will provide land at no cost and contribute up to $2,438,595 in funding for water, sewer, and stormwater expenses.

This also includes a minimum obligation of $2.2 million even if state funding from Senate Bill 1530 is unavailable. Construction is expected to begin following the project’s scheduled closing on April 17, with completion anticipated in early 2027.

The Dalles, Ore., March 25, 2025 — Tim Sipe and The Dalles Rifle and Pistol Club are on a mission to properly educate locals on firearms and safety.

Tim stopped by on Tuesday, March 25, to let locals know about upcoming classes here in The Dalles.

The main objective of The Dalles Rifle and Pistol Club is to encourage organized rifle and pistol shooting among citizens of the Columbia Gorge area with a view towards a better knowledge of safe handling and proper care of firearms.

The Dalles Rifle and Pistol Club was founded in March of 1938 and incorporated in 1949. In 2020, The Dalles Rifle and Pistol Education and Training Foundation was formed, a 501c3 nonprofit.

The Dalles Rifle and Pistol Club has had many locations for its indoor and outdoor range in The Dalles area. In 1986, The Dalles Rifle and Pistol Club collaborated with The Dalles Senior Center to help put a basement in their facility. At the time, The Senior Center did not have funding for a basement, but with help from the Dalles Rifle and Pistol Club and Walt Erikson, The Senior Center was able to build the basement. The Dalles Rifle and Pistol Club started leasing the basement from The Senior Center to use for their indoor pistol range.

Since 1964 the Club has offered Hunter Education classes. In 1983 the Club started NRA Basic pistol classes, and later added Basic Rifle shooting classes and Home Firearm Safety classes through the Columbia Gorge Community College and The Senior Center. The Club holds the Iron Sight shooting competition for community members on a yearly and a bi-yearly basis.

Upcoming classes offered through Columbia Gorge Community College:

• Home Firearm Safety April 3 (free)

• Basic Rifle Class 4/8, 4/10

• Basic Pistol Class 4/15, 4/17, 4/22, 4/24 Through Club

• Iron sight shoot 22lr, rifle and Pistol, at indoor range. Open to public. It will be Mid May. For more information contact Jim Wilcox @ 541-980-1129

To register for upcoming classes go to cgcc.edu. For more information, please call Tim Sipe @ 541-993-8777 or Kevin McIntyre @ 541-993-1081.

See tdrpc.org for more information about the club and its upcoming classes.

By Jim Drake at gorgeentertainment@gmail.com

March continues to Heat Up with record temps and an unlimited supply of music, art, comedy - there’s something for everyone! Get a Grip on the upcoming week and while you’re at it, get a sneak peek into April!

Bargeway Pub Lineup

Friday, March 28 | 6 PM - Willie & Nelson

Saturday, March 29 | 6 PM - Zach Grooms

Pair these bands with a Bloody Hell Mary complete with candied bacon, olive, pickled bean, onion and pickled garlic and you got music for your mouth and mind. Because it’s all about balance, right?

And don’t forget these great food and music events in the run up to the weekend:

Wednesday, March 26 — Feeling delicious? All Aboard the Crazy Delicious Asian train at the Bargeway Pub, 1535 Bargeway Road, The Dalles.

Crazy like a fox eating Delicious Asian.

Taste the delights of the far Eastern Gorge on Wednesdays as we bring fresh ingredients to take you far far away on a tasty trip. Asian-inspired dishes beginning at 5 p.m.

Thursday, March 27 — Tacos & Tequila Thursday with some musical sauce from Jeff Carrell or Al Hare.

Tacos, Tequila, Fajitas, Tequila, Burritos, Tequila! Choose from Fiery Habanero Shrimp, Barria, Tequila Lime Shrimp, & Chicken! Homemade Chips and Salsa made daily!

Great Food - Great Music - Great Prices!

And now there is another favorite on the penny pincher menu.

The Reuben manages your mouth like a Partridge Family manager. Smoother than David Cassidy.

Hey there! While you’re here, why not check out Columbia Community Connection’s Local Calendar and daily news coverage?

Want to get your event onboard? Send the details to Entertainment Guru Jim Drake at gorgeentertainment@gmail.com and make it a Great Show!

‘Cause they can’t go if they don’t know.

News you can use

By Jim Drake

Elementary! On April 1, The Dalles Library Community Reads Program dives into the very first Sherlock Holmes story “A Study in Scarlet,” published in 1887. For nearly 100 years, the complete works of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was thought to include 56 short stories and 4 novels. But in 1995, author Peter Haining published “The Final Adventures of Sherlock Holmes,” introducing rare archival material including stage plays and prototype stories by Doyle that are said to belong in the canon of the “world’s most famous consulting detective.” The Game is Afoot!

HR Middle School PTO presents Comedy Night with Scott Losse

Comedy Night with Scott Losse is a fundraiser for Hood River Middle School, coming up on Friday, May 2, 7-9 p.m. Expect “a night of laughs in support of Hood River Middle School with Pacific Northwest Comedian Scott Losse in our historic auditorium.”

Tickets at:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/scott-losse-comedy-night-tickets-1265180702539

Patterson conveys history of women's rights movement - celebrated through song

Ruth Patterson recently performed at the White Salmon Library, celebrating the history of the women’s rights movement through the decades, with poignant songs from Nina Simone, Joni Mitchell, Leonard Cohen, Madonna, and more. Integrating her favorite poems and personal stories of growing up through the turbulence of the 1960s to today, Patterson conveyed how these artists were important in bringing equal rights issues to the forefront, and how they helped to implement political change. Event was sponsored by the local chapter of Soroptimist International.

Growlerzz show brought Mardi Gras vibes

I wasn’t exactly sure what genre the Growlerzz would bring to their recent show at The Pines, but I didn’t expect to see a Steel Drum in the mix. Keyboardist and newest band member Boyd Nunley adds his talents to bring an authentic Caribbean flavor, and the first set dove into a Mardi Gras feel to the tunes. Also of note, the band’s saxophonist Paul Huffman is part of a new trio called Tunnel No. 3, which promises to venture rock singer/songwriter territory.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1422045374683899/user/100063694984430/

The Grand Dalles Music Festival

May 30, May 31, June 1

The Dalles, OR

A three day festival in the heart of the Dalles Oregon. Performances by northwest Bluegrass and Old time bands with dances on two nights.  The historic Granada Theatre will be the venue for concerts, jamming, dances and workshops, Lewis and Clark Park will be the site for outdoor concerts, jamming, kids activities and open mic for bands or individuals. A camping area across from the park for RV's and tent camping. A showing of The Winding Stream movie about the Cash and Carter Family. Events at  different locations around the city to get a taste of the town. The Dalles is a Lewis and Clark heritage site and the fiddle music from the expedition will be performed. 

For more information and tickets click here.

Granada Theater: Music and Movies

The Granada Theater in The Dalles presents family entertainment, movies, regional touring acts and more.

• Monday, March 31, Free Movie: Rez Ball, Sponsored sponsored by Yakima Nation Youth Activities, 5 p.m. First 300 people receive a free popcorn, candy, soda or water included.

• Friday, April 4, Movie: The Great Mouse Detective, 6 p.m., Free Admission, Presented by The Dalles County Library 

• Sunday, April 6, CIRCUS ON ICE, Two shows - 3 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. Tickets available at: https://circusonicethedallesor.eventbrite.com

  To add Private Box Seating for your party for a one time fee of $30 call 815-993-6585.

www.GranadatheatreTheDalles.com

• Friday, March 28, 7 p.m., Live Music with TOO SLIM AND THE TAILDRAGGERS 

  $55/person Private Box for 2 people (+$5 Handling fee) $30 General Admission (+$5/ticket handling fee at checkout)

  https://granadatheatrethedalles.com/events-and-buy-tickets/3-28-too-slim-and-the-taildraggers/

Live Music at Zim’s

Zim’s Brau Haus in The Dalles presents live local music.

• Tuesday, March 25, Reddy Black Trio (Rock, Blues, Country), 7-9 p.m.

Live Music at Last Stop Saloon

The Last Stop Saloon in The Dalles presents live music and more.

• Saturday, March 29, DJ Dance Night, 10 p.m. (21+ only)

Mid-Columbia Community Concert Association

2024-25 Season Tickets Available

MCCCA brings you a season to remember, featuring another great selection of artistic talent from many genres - diversity with superb entertainment value that appeals to all ages. Concerts at The Dalles Civic Auditorium. Buy Tickets.

• Thursday, April 10, 2025, Trevor Panczak (Canadian Country)

The Dalles Art Center

Temporary Flash Tattoos

Saturday, March 29, 3-5 p.m.

 Exhibiting artist and tattooist Kat Carroll will be at TDAC on Saturday, March 29, for a "flash tattoo" event. No need to commit to lifelong ink; these tattoos are only temporary! This event shows that art comes in many different forms, and allows all ages to engage with the ancient artistry of tattooing (without the permanency).

• Friday, April 4, Kids Paint Night with Kat Carroll, 5 p.m.

Live Music/Events at Route 30

Route 30 Bottles and Brew in The Dalles hosts weekly live music events, trivia nights and more.

• Wednesday Night: Useless Knowledge Trivia Night (6:30 p.m.)

• Thursday Night: Thirsty Thursday with House Band (7 p.m.)

• Friday Night: Karaoke Night (7 p.m.)

The Dalles Eagles

The Dalles Eagles hosts live music and other community events.

The Dalles Eagles Dance Schedule

• Line Dancing: Mondays, 5 p.m.

• Dance Class: Thursdays, 6 p.m.

• Saturday, March 22, Pool Tournament, 5 p.m.

• Saturday, March 29, Pool Tournament, 5 p.m.

Events at Mid Columbia Senior Center

Mid Columbia Senior Center in The Dalles presents music, movies and more.

Adult education courses:

Modern Irish Literature: Exploring Irish Short Stories

A discussion of Irish culture, history and language style with Kerry Cobb.

• Friday, April 11, 10 a.m.

Clubs meet at TD Library

The Dalles Library hosts book clubs, art classes and more.

• Wednesday, March 26, Sci-Fi Book Club, 6 p.m.

• On Display March 1-31, Quilt Exhibit: Bigger & Bolder

March 22-29: Spring Break Teen Activities

• Tuesday, March 25, Walking Tacos, 1-3 p.m.

• Wednesday, March 26, Rave Party, 1-3 p.m.

• Wednesday, March 26, Masters Family Circus, 3 p.m.

• Thursday, March 27, Movie at Granada Theater: “Tremors,” 1-4 p.m.

• Friday, March 28, DIY Ramen, 1-3 p.m.

• Friday, March 28, Oregon's Reptileman, Rich Ritchey

  3-5 p.m. (All Ages event)

• April 1-30, Community Read - A Study in Scarlet

  Step into the world of Sherlock Holmes by joining our community read of “A Study in Scarlet.” Follow Holmes and Watson as they unravel a case filled with secrets, intrigue, and masterful deduction. Pick up a copy at the library and join the conversation!

  
  

Webinars

The Dalles Library invites you to register for upcoming free webinars and online events. Visit the upcoming webinars page to see all events, register and explore recordings of past events.

• Wednesday, March 26, 4 p.m.  Dreams We Chase: An Author Talk with Novelist Jennifer Weiner

https://libraryc.org/wascocountylibrary/69134?uMarketingSource=_LSC_ME_03_2

• Wednesday, April 2, 4 p.m.  Wordsmith and Wonder: An Author Talk with Jodi Picoult

https://libraryc.org/wascocountylibrary/70513?uMarketingSource=_LSC_ME_03_3

Tuesday, April 8, 11 a.m.

The Stories, Science, and History of Trees with Smithsonian Gardens Greenhouse Horticulturalist Matthew Fleming

https://libraryc.org/wascocountylibrary/71004?uMarketingSource=_LSC_ME_03_4

Thursday, April 24, 4 p.m.

The Thrill of Writing Action, Adventure, and Suspense: A Conversation with Bestselling Author Gregg Hurwitz

https://libraryc.org/wascocountylibrary/71495?uMarketingSource=_LSC_ME_03_5

Live Music and Events at Balch Hotel

Coming up in 2025 at The Balch Hotel:

• Friday, March 28, Robert Sarazin Blake Album Release Concert, 7 p.m.

• Friday, May 9, Ben Johnson, 6-8 p.m.

  With a smoky voice honed in the mountains and lonesome deserts of the west, Ben Johnson tumbled onto the Portland music scene offering a stark portrait of real American life. Performing a mix of originals and covers, Johnson’s music is a journey through America’s roots.

  No cover charge for guests dining or lodging.

Events in Hood River & Mosier

Hood River Valley Adult Center

4th Annual Mardi Gras Fundraiser for Meals on Wheels

Saturday, May 3, 5-10 p.m.

Hood River Valley Adult Center

2010 Sterling Place, Hood River

Louisiana Style Buffet Dinner, Crawfish Boils, New Orleans Jazz Music, Live Auction, Silent Auction and Raffle. No Host Bar, Limited Seating. 21+ only. Advance Tickets $25/$30 at the door. Call 541-386-2060.

2025 Columbia Gorge Wine Festival

Best Western Plus Hood River Inn presents the Columbia Gorge Wine Festival, a wine / food / art / entertainment event at the Hood River County Fairgrounds on Saturday, May 10. We’ve invited 15 of the region’s finest winemakers to offer you tastes of their best. You can purchase wine by the taste, the bottle, or the case.

All Ages Welcome (under 21 Free admission)

All proceeds benefit the Hood River County Education Foundation. Proudly sponsored by Hood River Fairgrounds, Hood River County Chamber and Gorge Wine. Get tickets now at tickettomato.com

2025 Participating Wineries:

Capital Call Vintners, Cathedral Ridge Winery, Cork Wine Shop, Double Strand Wine, Garnier Vineyards, Hawkins Cellars, Mt Hood Winery, Hood Crest Winery, Jacob Williams Winery Mac, Le Doubblé Troubblé Wine Co.

Oak Flat Vineyards Tasting Room and Bistro, The Pines 1852, Phelps Creek Vineyards, Ridge of Wonders Winery, Stave & Stone Winery.

Live Music at The Ruins

The Ruins in Hood River presents National and Regional touring musical acts, films, and other community events. https://www.theruins.org

Film: The Columbia Canoe Project

Friday, March 28, 6-8:30 p.m.

Indoor Venue. All-Ages. 

Tickets at: https://mountain-king-industries.com/hood-river-tickets

About the film

The Columbia River Canoe Project follows cousins Robert Lester and Braxton Mitchell as they attempt a 1,300-mile canoe expedition from the Continental Divide near Butte, Montana, all the way to the Pacific Ocean. Braxton, only 18, has never been in a canoe before volunteering for this adventure of a lifetime. Though just a few years older, Robert leads the expedition, trying to overcome the unforeseen challenges of such an ambitious journey. As the pair navigate the river, enduring the hardships of battling dams, rapids, and wind, Braxton grows up, learning about life and discovering his true capabilities.

While following their downstream journey, the film highlights the ecological issues facing the Columbia River Watershed and promotes the importance of environmental stewardship. The Columbia River Canoe Project takes viewers on an adventure filled with breathtaking landscapes, unpredictable challenges, and a wealth of inspiration.

Johnny Franco and His Real Brother Dom w/ Megan Alder

Tuesday, April 1

Doors at 5:30 p.m. Indoor venue. All-ages.

Tickets are $15 in advance (click here) or $20 at the door.  

Walk down any street in Portland, Oregon and you are sure to encounter a mustachioed Brazilian rock and roll troubadour named Johnny Franco and (his real brother) Dom. Recently moving from Sao Paulo, the duo has developed a cult following in Portland for their high-energy performance and music. 

The self-proclaimed Professional Entertainer has sold out his last two headline shows at the Doug Fir in Portland, Oregon. Signed by music producer Sterling Fox (Lana Del Rey, Elle King) on his label Blanket Fort, Johnny has released a debut EP “Experience Report #1” that feels instantly timeless and two singles “Stay Real & Shelter The Light” combining original vocal stylings with a unique jangly Brazilian influenced beat.

Gorge Speakeasy: Storytelling Event

Wednesday, April 2, 7-9 p.m., Doors 6 p.m.

Join us for an evening of storytelling in Hood River that strengthens the community! Community members take the stage to share stories centered around a theme of the month. You can sign up to share a story, or just sit back and listen. Admission is by donation of any size, but a $10 donation gets you signed up for the chance to win prizes; we donate proceeds to a local non-profit each month to keep our community strong through the joy of sharing stories. 

The Heligoats w/ Sam Humans & Doug Stepina

Thursday, April 3, 6-9 p.m.

Doors at 5:30 p.m. Indoor venue. All-ages.

Tickets are $15 in advance (click here,) or $20 at the door. 

Natalie Cressman & Ian Faquini

Friday, April 4, 6-9 p.m.

Doors at 5:30 p.m. Indoor venue. All-ages.

Tickets are $20 in advance (click here,) or $25 at the door.  

Describing the musical partnership of Natalie Cressman (Trey Anastasio Band) and Ian Faquini as a duo is accurate, but their collaboration contains multitudes. She's a trombonist, vocalist and songwriter from San Francisco. He's a composer, guitarist, and singer from Brasilia. Together they've honed a singularly expansive creative communion encompassing their love of Brazilian songbook, jazz, Impressionism and sophisticated pop songcraft.Their original material features lyrics in Portuguese, French and English set to music drawing from a vast stylistic spectrum. With sumptuous two-part vocal harmonies hugging Brazilian-accented Portuguese accompanied by trombone and acoustic guitar, Cressman and Faquini's richly orchestrated sound seems to emanate from a much larger ensemble.

Live Music at Double Mountain

Double Mountain Brewery in Hood River brings local and regional music to the stage.

• Thursday, March 27, Minda Lacy Duo, 6:30 p.m.

Live Music at Underground Music Station

The Underground Music Station in Hood River, 512 Industrial Street, presents live music and more.

• Friday, April 4, Bang Bang Experience, 8 p.m.

Dust off your dancing shoes and join us!

Bang Bang is a 7-piece brass and drums ensemble playing the music of trumpet player, Sam Dechenne. Inspired by the sounds of international brass bands and Jazz ensembles, Funk and Reggae horn sections, West African and Latin American drumming and Western chamber music - their sound is truly their own.

The rhythm section interweaves grooves and swaps roles throughout the performance for a visual and audible experience. Drum set, Cahon, Timbales, Congas, Surdo (Brazilian Bass Drum) and a variety of mixed percussion make up the intricate drum beats you’ll hear at a concert. The lower brass section takes on the bass role, rhythmic comping, inner harmony and main melody. Riding the musical wave on top is trumpet, voicing the main melody and voice of the band.

With Bang Bang you’ll hear melodic and fiery solos from every member of the band, soft and intimate 3-part horn section compositions, exciting rhythm breaks and catchy melodies and horn riffs that will keep your ears open and your toes tapping.

Check out the band here:

https://youtube.com/@bangbangexperience?si=8Ix47EY6997cwMkT

Live Music at Working Hands

Working Hands Fermentation in Hood River presents live music, trivia nights and more.

• Thursday, March 27, Trivia Night, Sign ups at 6:30. Start at 7. Teams up to 6, $5 per person.

• Saturday, March 29, Alonzo Garbanzo (Local solo artist to do some covers and such), 7:30 p.m.

• Sunday, March 30, Open Mic, 6:30-9:30 p.m. (all ages welcome)

• Brunch Every Sunday 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Come and get it. Special drink menu as well.

Live Music at The Pines

The Pines Tasting Room in Hood River hosts live music featuring local and regional musicians.

• Thursday, March 27, Jacob Daniel (Solo singer/keyboard), 4-6 p.m.

• Friday, March 28, Chasing Ebenezer (Folk-Rock), 6-9 p.m.

• Sunday, March 30, Bees in a Bottle (Cinematic Folk), 3-5 p.m.

• Monday, March 31, Open Mic Night, 6-8 p.m.

  
  

Live Music at Hood Crest Winery

Hood Crest Winery in Hood River hosts live music and more.

• Stay tuned for more music!

Live Music at Solera Brewery

Solera Brewery in Parkdale brings local and regional music to the stage.

• Monday, March 31, Trivia Night, 6 p.m.

• Monday, April 7, Trivia Night, 6 p.m.

• Monday, April 14, Trivia Night, 6 p.m.

  
  

Live Music at 64 Taphouse

64 oz. Taphouse in Hood River brings live music to the stage.

• Stay tuned for more music!

Live Music at Phelps Creek Vineyard

Phelps Creek Vineyard in Hood River presents live music in the tasting room with local and regional bands.

• Stay tuned for more music!

Live Music at pFriem Family Brewers

pFriem Family Brewers in Hood River presents live music and more.

• Stay tuned for more music!

Events at Ferment Brewing

Ferment Brewing in Hood River presents live music, special events and more.

• Stay tuned for more music!

Live music at Hood River Brewing Co.

Hood River Brewing Co. in Hood River features live music onstage at the taproom from local and regional acts.

• Wednesday, March 26, Open Stage, 5:30-8 p.m.

• Friday, March 28, Alonzo Garbanzo (Dennis Castanares), 6:30-8:30 p.m.

• Monday, March 31, Taproom Trivia, 5:30-8 p.m.

• Saturday, March 29, Happy Hour with Scot & Bill (Acoustic Duo), 4-6 p.m.

Live Music at Tabby’s Hole in One

Tabby’s Hole in One Clubhouse at the Hood River Golf Course presents live music with local and regional bands.

• Wednesday, March 26, Boot Lag Bonnie, 6-8 p.m.

• Saturday, March 29, Booth Dog (Rock), 7-10 p.m.
  
  

Events at Mt. Hood Town Hall

The Mt. Hood Town Hall hosts special community events, holiday markets, and more.

• Stay tuned for more events!

Events at Hood River Elks Lodge

• Friday, March 28, Spring Fling Paint Party, 6 p.m.

  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/spring-fling-paint-party-tickets-1269410915219?utm_experiment=test_share_listing&aff=ebdsshios&fbclid=IwY2xjawJFcFVleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHWxbwxy_ST726GvwsDNlTODEpvgWM2Hzx5D1KPO4EI3y4eHjSYEt8pdiJQ_aem_sGxwL4VXRP0JQ4nGHf4Fog

• Saturday, March 29, Inaugural Ball (1950s/60s Happy Days Theme), 5 p.m. Awards presentations, Dinner, DJ Dancing and more specials. All members and their guests are invited. This event is 21 and over.

• Friday, April 11, Button Bridge Comedy Jamboree, 8 p.m.

  The Button Bridge Comedy Jamboree returns to the Hood River Elks Lodge on Friday, April 11. Comedians Juan Denmark, Jack Trumbull and Katie Nguyen perform. Hosted by Chris Hudson. 

  Tickets available at: www.eventbrite.com/e/leave-your-troubles-tickets-1289122121969

  
  

Hood River Hotel

Events at the Hood River Hotel

 Saturday March 29, 7:30 p.m.

Oregon saxophone legend Renato Caranto returns to the Hood River Hotel. He will be joined by Portland Hammond B3 Organ master Louis Pain, Chic Preston on voice and guitar and Tim Ortlieb on drums playing a mix of jazz, R&B and funk. Renato was hand-picked by the great Merle Haggard for a three year stint in his world-touring band. Come early for best seating to see and hear one of Oregon's greatest musicians!

Live Music at Hood River Farmers Market

The Hood River Farmers Market is open every Saturday, May 4 to Nov. 23, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. at 501 Columbia Street in Hood River.

Winter Season 2024-25

10 a.m. – 12 p.m.

403 Portway Avenue, Hood River

• Saturday, April 5

• Saturday, April 19

301 Gallery

Stop in to 301 this season to see a rich and diverse offering of fine art and craft, from painting, photography, and sculpture, to ceramics, glass, metals, wood, jewelry, and more. 301 is open every day, downtown Hood River, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Columbia Center for the Arts

Events at the Columbia Center for the Arts in Hood River

Friday, March 28, 7 p.m.

Film: LESSONS FOR TODAY

The Legacy of Minoru Yasui

Presented by the Minoru Yasui Legacy Project & Hood River Latino Network. Free Event, Donations accepted.

On March 28, 1942, Minoru Yasui intentionally violated a racially discriminatory curfew. He spent 9 months imprisoned in solitary confinement before being sent to an internment camp. In remembrance of his brave fight for justice, the State of Oregon designated March 28th as Minoru Yasui Day. On March 15, 2025 President Trump invoked the Alien Enemies Act of 1798. The last time this law was invoked was December 7, 1941 when it was used to arrest Japanese-Americans including Minoru's father, Masuo Yasui. The lessons of Minoru Yasui's legacy are more critical than ever. Come learn about the connections between Minoru Yasui's fight and the ongoing work of standing for justice today. There will be guest speakers, opportunities to take action, and a chance to connect with others who share a passion for justice. 

Friday, April 11

Saturday, April 12

Sunday, April 13

The Watershed Rock Opera

A SENSE OF PLACE EVENT

Tickets at: https://events.humanitix.com/watershed-rock-opera/tickets

About the event

To celebrate 15 years of the Sense of Place program, we present…

"THE GREATEST ROCK OPERA EVER PRODUCED ABOUT A WATERSHED!"

The Watershed Rock Opera will take you on a wild romp from sky to river as it follows the watershed through 5 different stories from the Columbia River Gorge. This multimedia performance features original music composed and performed by local musicians in accompaniment with film, audio, and theatrical performances.

"IT'S LIKE A LOVE LETTER TO A PLACE AND ITS PEOPLE, BUT WITH MORE PERCUSSION."

A multimedia performance in 5 movements celebrating the Columbia River Gorge and its people. Featuring original music composed and performed by local musicians in accompaniment with original film, audio, and theatrical performances. 

And like all true love stories, there will be passion, tragedy, humor, and awe. Imagine a pear orchardist, ready for harvest, when Mother Nature strikes!...Or hiking in the high alpine of the Cascade Mountains, tracking rare carnivores with a feisty biologist...Even here, in our homes, schools, and workplaces - there's something mysterious, some might even say magical, happening right under our feet (and butts)...There, to witness it all, is our watershed. Come see and hear what it has to share. Click HERE to learn more about the people and stories behind this unique project. *Please NOTE: this event will include flashes of light, brief adult language (2 curse words), and loud noises.

Wednesday, April 16, 7:30 p.m.

Performance: “Diving Deep: Finding the Martin Car & Myself”

A narrative performance by Archer Mayo with live music from Chrissy Lancaster. Directed by Christine Mchugh. Portions of proceeds donated to the Gorge Rebuild-it Center.

Tickets at:

https://events.humanitix.com/diving-deep-finding-the-martin-car-and-myself/tickets

Event description

A gripping multimedia dramatic retelling of investigator and independent diver Archer Mayo’s seven-year search for the missing Martin family. This deeply personal and suspenseful journey unfolds through vivid storytelling and archival imagery, accompanied by improvised cello music by Chrissy Lancaster. Follow Mayo's relentless pursuit of truth and the ultimate discovery that brought closure to a decades-old mystery.

The Columbia Gorge Orchestra Association 

Folksong Tapestry with the Voci Community Choir

Join director Dan Kenealy and the outstanding Voci Community Choir for a performance of beloved folk songs from the Americas and around the world. Step into a world of captivating melodies and rich cultural heritage as CGOA’s Voci Community Choir presents Folksong Tapestry. This unique performance will take you on a musical journey across continents, weaving together a collection of diverse and vibrant folk songs from around the globe.

​​Friday, April 25, 7 p.m.

Sunday, April 27, 2 p.m.

Hood River Valley Christian Church

Tickets at:

https://app.arts-people.com/index.php?show=246034

Hood River County Library

Hood Rivers Reads 2025

The Beadworkers: Stories by Beth Piatote

Books Available Now

Join us for the Hood River County Reads 2025 kick-off celebration! This beloved community initiative returns with The Beadworkers: Stories by Beth Piatote, a masterful collection praised by Louise Erdrich for its wit and storytelling prowess.

Hood River Reads Events 2025

Saturday, March 29, 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

FISH Food Bank Meeting Room

The Land, The People: Native Americans and the Natural World

Land Stewardship: Leon Ganuelas (Yakama), Manager of Yakama Wildlife Resource Management; Native Rights and Treaties: Russell Spino (Warm Springs), CRITFC Chief of Police

Date: TBD

History Museum of Hood River County

Native American Beadwork Display

Sign-ups on Library website https://hoodriverlibrary.org/

Wednesday, April 2, 6 p.m.

Poetry Open Mic Night at the Library in Celebration of the Indian Creek Trail Poetry Walk

Experience the magic of local poetry at the Hood River Library’s Open Mic Night, celebrating the Indian Creek Trail Poetry Walk. Share your original work or simply come to listen as community voices bring poetry to life in this special evening that honors the intersection of nature, art, and community connection. 

Big Night in a Small Town 

Hood River Library Foundation Benefit

Sunday, April 6, 5:30 p.m.

Join Us for a Big Night to Support Library Services

Five top local chefs, one course each, a thoughtfully curated fine dining experience, including beer & wine. A fundraiser for the Hood River County Library Foundation. Tickets available at:

https://event.auctria.com/21dd2c69-3bc9-436f-b543-2fdda7066ad4/a809178051b511ea91bae14d12592328

Friends of Hood River County Library Pop-Up Book Sale!

Looking for great reads at bargain prices? Join us for our special one-day book sale on Saturday, April 5, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. in the Hood River Library meeting room.

 Browse our curated selection of gently used books in all genres and formats! Don't miss our Bag Sale from 3-5 p.m. — fill a bag with books for one low price! All proceeds directly support library programs and services. Cash and credit cards accepted. Mark your calendars for this wonderful opportunity to support your library while expanding your personal collection!

Harp Workshop w/ Aryeh Frankfurter & Lisa Lynne

Saturday, April 12, Noon
Hood River Library Reading Room
CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP:

https://hoodriverlibrary.as.me/schedule/0525b24d/?appointmentTypeIds[]=75285501

Join acclaimed harpists Aryeh Frankfurter and Lisa Lynne for an immersive hands-on harp workshop in the Hood River Library Reading Room on Saturday, April 12, at noon. Experience the enchanting world of harps under expert guidance — perfect for both beginners and enthusiasts alike — just be sure to secure your spot by registering online.

Hood River Library Book Club

Join the Hood River Library Book Club on the second Wednesday of the month at 12:30 p.m. in the Hood River Library Meeting Room. Discussion groups are held monthly throughout, and all are welcome to attend. Books are chosen month-to-month. Meetings are hybrid, so folks are welcome both in-person and online. https://hoodriverlibrary.org/book-club/

2025 Upcoming Meetings/Selections

• 1-8 West With Giraffes (Lydia Rutledge)

• 2-12 Unfamiliar Fishes (Sarah Vowell)

• 3-12 Beadworkers (Beth Piatote)

• 4-9 Thunderstruck (Erik Larsen)

• 5-14 Drive Your Plough over The Bones (Olga Tokarczuk)

• 6-11 Real Americans (Rachel Khong)

• 7-9 Fever in the Heartland: The Klu Klux Klan’s Plot to Take Over America, and the Women Who Stopped Them (Timothy Egan)

• 8-13 The Women’s March (Jennifer Chiaverini)

• 9-10 Crow Talk (Eileen Garvin)

• 10-8 Heaven and Earth Grocery Store (James McBride)

• 11-12 Yellowface (R.F. Kuang)

• 12-10 Dinners with Ruth (Nina Totenburg)

Writing Group Meets at HR Library

Creative writing together! Join with fellow writers to work on your craft through prompts and (sometimes) share the results. Facilitated by Patty Kaplan.

Live Music at
Mosier Company

Mosier Company in Mosier brings live local and regional music to the stage.

Stay Tuned for more music!

Secret Salsa Society

The Secret Salsa Society is your place for Salsa Dancing in the Gorge! Join the weekly dance at a fun, local venue. Expect to hear Salsa, Bachata, Merengue, Cha Cha Cha, Timba, Cumbia, and more. Suggested donation $3 per person. All Ages event and Beginners are welcome! Beginner lessons at 6:30 p.m.

• Wednesday, March 26, Crush Cider Cafe (Hood River), 7-9 p.m.

Hood River County Education Foundation Benefit

Tickets are on sale now for Derek Hughes: Stand-Up Magician in the Hood River Middle School Historic Auditorium on Saturday, April 12.

Hughes has performed his magic on MTV, VH1, Comedy Central, the CW’s Penn & Teller: Fool Us, and the Ellen Degeneres Show. He’s a consulting producer on TRUtv’s hit magic series, The Carbonaro Effect, and was a finalist on season 10 of NBC’s America’s Got Talent.

Tickets on sale now! www.hrcef.org

Events In Bingen & White Salmon

Live Music at Everybody’s Brewing

Everybody’s Brewing in White Salmon brings local and regional music to the stage.

Music Mondays

• Monday, March 24, Billy D (Blues/Rock), 6-8 p.m.

• Monday, March 31, Edad del Pavo (Acoustic/Latin), 6-8 p.m.

White Salmon Library Events

• March 13-27, Together We Read

  The Queen of Sugar Hill will be available in eBook and eAudio from March 13-27 with no holds and no waiting as part of Together We Read. Get it now using the Libby app or at https://fortvancouver.overdrive.com/

Events at Bingen Theater

Big Britches Productions 2025 Schedule Preview

• Moon Over Buffalo, April 25-May 10

• The Spitfire Grill, A Musical, Aug. 1-16

• The Woman in Black, Oct. 3-18

• It’s A Wonderful Life, Live Radio Play, Dec. 5-20

Tickets at:

https://www.bigbritches.org/2025-theater-season

Moon Over Buffalo

Written by Ken Ludwig

April 25, 26, May 2, 3, 9 & 10 - Doors at 7 p.m. - Show at 7:30 p.m.

April 27 & May 4 - Doors at 1:30 p.m. - Show at 2 p.m.

Please plan to arrive at least fifteen minutes early.

Directed by Lisa Roth

Run Time: Approximately 2 hours with a 20-minute intermission

Tickets at: https://www.bigbritches.org/moon-over-buffalo-tickets

In the summer of 1953, George and Charlotte Hay, former Broadway stars, bring their run-down touring company to Buffalo, New York, performing pared down versions of Cyrano de Bergerac and Private Lives while lamenting missed Hollywood opportunities. Chaos erupts when George’s off-stage affair with the troupe's young ingenue results in an unexpected pregnancy, prompting Charlotte to consider running off with their lawyer, sending lightweight George on a grief-stricken drinking binge. It turns out that Frank Capra is headed to town on a talent scouting mission looking to potentially hire the couple for his swashbuckling Scarlet Pimpernel epic if he likes what he sees. As a result, the Hay family -- including sharp tongued, hard-of-hearing mother-in-law Ethel, determinedly practical daughter Rosalind, and dashing stage manager Paul, Rosalind’s ex-boyfriend -- must work overtime to get sloppy drunk George into his Cyrano hat and nose. With the entrance of Rosalind’s fiance, anxious TV weatherman Howard -- one man with two mistaken identities -- and Richard Maynard, the wealthy lawyer hoping to lure Charlotte away to his mansion -- the confusion only intensifies. With a plethora of pratfalls, slamming doors aplenty, and backstage shenanigans, Ken Ludwig’s Moon Over Buffalo is a fast-paced, hilarious screwball comedy in the old tradition, a throwback farce, a valentine to the stage, and the larger-than-life personalities that inhabit the world of the theatre.

Live Music at Jacob Williams Winery

Jacob Williams Winery in Wishram, Wash., presents live music in the tasting room/on the patio throughout the season.

• Stay tuned for more music!

Events in Trout Lake

Live Music at
Trout Lake Hall

The Trout Lake Hall in Trout Lake, Washington brings live music and community events to its historic venue. https://www.troutlakehall.com/

Thursday, March 27, True Loves, A night of groovy funk soulful dance music, $20 Advance // $25 Day Of Show, 6 p.m. Doors / 7 p.m. Show, 21+

TRUE LOVES

Listening to the Seattle-based original funk & soul group, True Loves, is like walking down a favorite neighborhood street, slapping-five with friends, checking up with clerks in their stores, and smelling the familiar scents of your most cherished locale. The band is it’s own block party. What began in 2014 as a jam session between three of the city’s best- drummer David McGraw, bassist Bryant Moore and guitarist Jimmy James- has since blossomed into a global force that features percussionist Iván Galvez, Trombonist Greg Kramer, and saxophonists Gordon Brown and Skerik. Together, the group’s live performances have garnered them much acclaim and millions of streams on YouTube. In 2017, the True Loves recorded their debut instrumental LP, Famous Last Words, which received worldwide adoration, earning them spots at coveted music festivals. In 2018, the group released the “Dapper Derp/Kabuki” 45” on WeCoast Records followed by 2019’s Colemine Records “Famous Last Words/Mary Pop Poppins” 45 single. The band released their sophomore album “Sunday Afternoon” in 2021, on Color Red Music.

Saturday, March 29, Lilly Hiatt / Phillip-Michael Scales, Alt-Rock blends with singer/songwriter sensitivity, $15 Advance // $18 Day Of Show, 6 p.m. Doors / 7 p.m. Show, All Ages

LILLY HIATT

The last few years have been a little hazy for Lilly Hiatt, who finds herself searching for answers on her striking new album, Forever. Recorded at home with her husband, Coley Hinson, who produced and played most of the instruments, Forever grapples with growth and change, escape and anxiety, self-loathing and self-love. The songs are intensely vulnerable, full of diaristic snapshots and deeply personal ruminations, but they’re also broad invitations to find yourself in their unflinching emotional excavations. The result is a raw, unvarnished work of love and trust that walks the line between alt-rock muscle and singer/songwriter sensitivity, a bold, guitar-driven exploration of maturity and adulthood from an artist who wants you to know you’re not alone, no matter how lost you may feel. 

PHILLIP-MICHAEL SCALES

Phillip-Michael was born in Michigan, forged in Chicago, and now lives in Nashville, TN. He grew up with B.B. King calling him “nephew” and calls his music "Dive Bar Soul,"  a blend of Indie Rock storytelling and the passion of the blues. In February of 2022, he caught the attention of Ellen Degeneres who featured him on her show. In June of 2024 he spent a month supporting Legendary Songwriter Keb’ Mo’ on tour.

Sunday, March 30, Jake Xerxes Fussell, Folk inspired singer, guitarist, and composer based in Durham, NC., $18 Advance // $20 Day Of Show, 6 p.m. Doors / 7 p.m. Show, All Ages

JAKE XERXES FUSSELL

Jake Xerxes Fussell is a singer, guitarist, and composer based in Durham, NC. His intuitive creative process often draws from traditional music and archival field recordings-incorporating elements of songs from the past into new work. He is, according to Ann Powers of NPR, "may be the leading interpreter of American folk music right now..."

Fussell’s most recent album “When I’m Called,” was released to critical acclaim by Fat Possum Records in the summer of 2024. The album was produced by James Elkington and features Blake Mills (guitars), Ben Whiteley (bass), and Joe Westerlund (drums), along with additional vocals from Joan Shelley and Robin Holcomb.

Fussell and Elkington also wrote and recorded the music for “Rebuilding,” a new feature film directed by Max Walker-Silverman that is set to premiere at the 2025 Sundance Film Festival.

“Fussell’s music often comes with complex citations; he is a folk singer in the truest sense,collecting ideas and melodies and lyrics from distant and disparate traditions, looking for the things that unite us in our humanity.”-The New Yorker

“(Fussell) is one of the great magpies of American song, collecting forgotten, tarnished gems with a folklorist’s zeal... his renditions aren’t so much cover versions as composites...”–The Guardian

Friday, April 4, Matthew Logan Vasquez / Softjaw, Indie Rock, Electronic Pop, R&B, and Soulful Americana, $20 Advance // $20 Day Of Show, 6 p.m. Doors / 7 p.m. Show, All Ages

MATTHEW LOGAN VASQUEZ

Best-known as the co-founder and frontman for shape shifting heartland indie rockers Delta Spirit, Matthew Logan Vasquez's fiery delivery and thought-provoking lyrics draw from a huge and versatile well of influences, including Gordon Gano, Kurt Cobain, Neil Young, and Thom Yorke. As a solo artist, he juggles elements of indie rock, electronic pop, R&B, and soulful Americana, flirting with despondency, but ultimately succumbing to beatitude. Vasquez’s latest release Frank’s Full Moon Saloon - an album that delivers more raw versions of songs that span the band’s 20 year career, was released in February this year. Part 2 & 3 of the Franks series will be rolling out through 2025.

SOFTJAW

Long Beach Power Pop!

Saturday, April 5, Family Mystic / Roux Dio, Funk, Soul, Psychedelia, Progressive Jazz fusion, and angelic vocal harmonies, $15 Advance // $15 Day Of Show, 6 p.m. Doors / 7 p.m. Show, All Ages

FAMILY MYSTIC

Family Mystic is more than just a band — they are a transformative experience that redefines music through song, dance, and emotional connection. Based out of Portland, Oregon, this collective of four visionary songwriters blends elements of funk, soul, psychedelia, progressive jazz fusion, and angelic vocal harmonies, creating a genre-defying experience that invites listeners to connect with their shared humanity through the power of music.

ROUX DIO

Roux Dio has been simmering along in Hood River since summer of 2024. The quintet is a special sauce of original fun and funky swamp-boogie and new grass tunes with deep grooves and improvisation in the mix. Only the finest ingredients went into the cauldron for this batch and one thing is certain: Luke Maddux, Neil Mangrum, Hunter Parmentier, Andy Lade and Rory Johnson are cooking up some fine musical sustenance that needs to be served up hot.

Sunday, April 6, Open Mic Night with Lincoln Crockett, Bring your songs, poetry, music to the stage or just come to listen, FREE,  All Ages, Doors at 5 p.m., Sign up by 5:30 p.m., Open Mic 5:30-7:30 p.m.

 Join us in bringing the good times to the Hall every month! Historic room, great sound, supportive audience. Early and fun. Upright piano available! We want to hear you! Come be a part of it.

Friday, April 11, BARN BURNER: Jay Si Proof, A high-energy night of funk, improv disco, and unstoppable dance-floor joy! $15 Advance // $15 Day Of Show, 6 p.m. Doors / 7 p.m. Show, 21+ BARN BURNER shows are all about the dancing! No matter who might be on the stage, you are guaranteed to groove.

JAY SI PROOF

Jay Si Proof is an explosion of funk with unhinged, audacious, and joyous energy! There are no walls between performer and audience at a Jay Si Proof show, there are no boundaries between acquaintances, friends and strangers. Teetering between funk anthems, entirely improvised disco bangers, and sentimental lo-fi grooves, Jay Si Proof is as much an experience as it is a concert. 

Wednesday, April 16, Nefesh Mountain / Jenny Jahlee, New York based Progressive Americana blending Folk, Bluegrass, Jazz and Blues, $18 Advance // $20 Day Of Show, 6 p.m. Doors / 7 p.m. Show, All Ages

NEFESH MOUNTAIN

The New York based Progressive Americana group Nefesh Mountain Band has been hailed as one of the formative boundary-pushing ensembles in roots music. The band's creators and dynamic husband and wife team of Eric Lindberg and Doni Zasloff have created a world and sound all their own; blurring the lines between Americana, Bluegrass, Folk, Jazz and Blues with a masterful hand as songwriters, instrumentalists and composers alike. The band has recorded and shared the stage with Sam Bush, Jerry Douglas, Bryan Sutton, John Doyle, Noam Pikelny (Punch Brothers), Mark Schatz (Bèla Fleck, Nickel Creek), Mike Gordon (Phish) and Tony Trischka among others. The Troubadours along with their band continue to forge new paths in unknown territory, armed with Zasloff and Lindberg’s strong, smokey, and folksy vocals and Lindberg’s soulful and masterful skills on guitars and banjo alike.

Friday, April 18, The Sweet Lillies / Eugenia Riot, Progressive Americana. Strings with old time soul, original flavor & dance beats, $15 Advance // $20 Day Of Show, 6 p.m. Doors / 7 p.m. Show, All Ages

THE SWEET LILLIES

The Sweet Lillies' music is, first and foremost, heartfelt and collaborative. Those defining traits are given life by the quartet of musicians who make up the Lillies, Julie Gussaroff, Becca Bisque, Dustin Rohleder and Jones Maynard. Together they have combined their individual strengths to deliver powerful narratives of life in song. With their lineup of guitar, viola, upright bass, drums and ethereal vocal harmonies that float like a dream, the Sweet Lillies' music has a hard hitting original flavor with a forward-looking eye. The Sweet Lillies have incorporated all of their cumulative life-experiences into their music, song-writing, and artistry, crafting an uncommonly-beautiful style they have christened “Progressive-Americana” - a nod to the band’s all encompassing musical tastes and willingness to experiment with genres ranging from folk and rock all the way to hip-hop. 

EUGENIA RIOT

Eugenia Riot is the nom de plume of Portland, Oregon based singer-songwriter Leigh Jones. The name is taken from her eldest known female ancestor, Eugenia Riot, who was born in the year 1205 in Yorkshire, England. An internationally touring musician with a background in theater, Jones delights audiences with her irresistible stage presence and enrapturing voice. She has spoken at the US Embassy in Ethiopia on Women in Music, was selected with her former band Crow and the Canyon for the American Music Abroad program, and has toured the US from coast to coast since 2010.

Friday, April 25, Megan Alder & The Woods / Robert Sarazin Blake, Vocal wonder performing original music, classic swing and folk, $15 Advance // $20 Day Of Show, 6 p.m. Doors / 7 p.m. Show, All Ages

MEGAN ALDER & THE WOODS

Vocal wonder performing original music, classic swing and folk.

Hailing from the Columbia River Gorge, Megan Alder is a vocal powerhouse performing upbeat swing and Americana music.  She delivers her original songs with raw grit and soul. Influenced by artists like Billie Holiday and Bonnie Raitt, Alder leads her band with fearless flat picking. She performs as a solo artist with live loops and kazoo flare.  Her latest EP, Dark Side, features four original songs recorded live in Parkdale, OR, available on all platforms.

ROBERT SARAZIN BLAKE

Robert Sarazin Blake has been a fixture of the Pacific Northwest folk music scene since 1996 when he released his first cassette of original songs and hit the road. Since then, he’s toured extensively around the U.S. and beyond. He became a well-known presence on the East Coast during his time there from 2001 to 2003 and continued to visit two or three times a year. Regular tours of Ireland between 2002 and 2019 culminated in a collaboration with Uilleann piper John McSherry on Blake’s album ‘A Long Series of Memorable Nights Forgotten’. Between 2015 and 2019 Blake toured Germany, Norway, the Netherlands and Switzerland. Between these adventures, he continued performing around the Pacific Northwest and in his hometown of Bellingham, Wash. 

Events in Stevenson & Cascade Locks

2025 Sternwheeler Homecoming Gathering

Saturday, March 29, 3-5 p.m.

Cascade Locks Port Marina Park

Who's ready for a small get-together?! The Sternwheeler is kicking off the 2025 season in style with a Dockside Gathering on Saturday, March 29, from 3-5 p.m. Join us for a relaxing social event of drinks and music on the boat! Mark your calendars as we'll be thrilled and ready to chill!

Thunder Island Events

Thunder Island Brewing in Cascade Locks presents live music, trivia nights and more.

• Wednesday, March 26, Community Night, 5-8 p.m. Benefit event for local non-profit Northwest Trail Alliance, learn more at https://nw-trail.org. 

• Monday, April 7, Bluegrass/Old-Time Acoustic Jam, 5 p.m.

• Thursday, April 10, Trivia Night, 6 p.m.

• Wednesday, April 16, Foosball Tournament, 6 p.m.

  
  

Gorges Beer Events

• Stay Tuned for more events!

Cascade Locks Monthly Book Club

The Cascade Locks Book Club meets every fourth Thursday of the month at the Cascade Locks Library from 5:15-7 p.m. It will be patron lead and free for all to join. Call 541-386-2535 for more information.

• Thursday, March 27, 5:15 p.m. This month's book club selection is “The Book Thief,” by Markus Zusak.

See our calendar for a full list of events 541-386-2535 for more information.

By Karl Vercouteren

The Dalles, Ore., March 25, 2025 — Kiwanis meetings are held every Thursday at noon at Spooky’s, and visitors are welcome. This week’s events include:

• Apr. 3 Tom Peterson brings update on Columbia Community Connection.

• Apr. 10 Danny Cosgrove reports on his work at the Discovery Center.

• Apr. 17 Numismatist Rodger Nichols presents a program about money.

• Apr. 24 Club member and former Lt. Governor Mary Stocks leads Kiwanis orientation.

For more information, go to www.thedalleskiwanis.org/ or The-Dalles-Kiwanis-Club on Facebook.

By Tom Peterson

The Dalles, Ore., March 24, 2025 — The Dalles City Council voted to permanently fund the cost of water to irrigate local parks and fields at their regular meeting on March 23.

Northern Wasco County Parks and Recreation Director Scott Baker thanked the Council for the approval.

“Thank you for your support in The Dalles,” he said. “We work hard to make The Dalles an awesome place to live.”

He pointed to how vibrant Sorosis park is since its redevelopment as well as the use at the expanded Skate Park and new Pump Track near at the corner of Cherry Heights and West Second streets.  

City Manager Matthew Klebes will enter into a  Intergovernmental Funding Agreements with Wasco County and Parks & Rec in weeks to come.

The agreements will provide city funding to cover water service costs for the county's Kramer Fields and the district's parks, totaling $192,000.

That in turn, will free up funds for other park services for both the Park District and Wasco County.

The agreement  follows the council's November 2024 decision to amend the city's transient lodging tax policy, taking back direct payments to the parks district.

Before the decision, Parks & Rec. received 18.75 percent of the lodging tax - roughly $320,000 annually of the total $1.8 million collected.

The money was relied on pays for basic maintenance at local parks, said Northern Wasco County Parks and Recreation Director Scott Baker last September. And its potential loss could lead to having to cut services.

The lodging money was used for maintenance of the park system in The Dalles which includes 8 different parks and other recreation facilities - City Park, Firehouse Park, Howe Park, Kiwanis Park, Riverfront Park, Sorosis Park, The Dalles Skate Park, Thompson Park, Mountain Bike Skills Park, Riverfront Trail and The Dalles Aquatic Center.

Hood River, Ore., March 24, 2025 — The Hood River City Council is set to make a decision on awarding the 129-unit affordable housing project at 780 Rand Road tonight at its regular meeting at 6 p.m. tonight.

Mariposa Village Affordable Housing Development

The Council will review agreements related to the Mariposa Village project, a 129-unit affordable housing complex. Under the terms of the Purchase Option Agreement with a joint venture of Community Development Partners and Columbia Cascade Housing Corporation the City will provide land at no cost and contribute up to $2,438,595 in funding for water, sewer, and stormwater expenses.

This includes a minimum obligation of $2,200,000, even if state funding from Senate Bill 1530 is unavailable. Construction is expected to begin following the project’s scheduled closing on April 17, with completion anticipated in early 2027.

City staff recommend authorizing the City Manager to execute the necessary development agreements.

Loan Application for Road Fund Reimbursement

The Council will consider approving the submission of a loan application to the Oregon Transportation Infrastructure Bank (OTIB) for the replacement of the May Street elevated sidewalk between 13th Street and Katie’s Lane.

The City seeks a $1,999,701 loan to reimburse the General Fund for a $1,799,701.56 payment made on behalf of the Road Fund, plus an additional $200,000 for contingency costs. The loan would be repaid over 20 years, with costs incurred up to 12 months before the loan's execution date eligible for reimbursement. City staff recommend approval of the loan request.

Big Jim’s Drive-In Liquor License

The Council’s Consent agenda also contains approval of a new liquor license for Big Jim’s Drive-In, 1950 12th Street.

The Dalles, Ore., March 24, 2025 — The first ever Grand Dalles Music Festival is coming to the The Dalles on May 30.

Local organizer Jonathan Zilka of Shannon’s Ice Cream is looking forward to the three-day festival in the heart of the Dalles Oregon after putting months on planning into the event.

Locals can expect performances by northwest Bluegrass and Old time bands with dances on two nights, he said. The historic Granada Theatre will provide the venue for concerts, jamming, dances and workshops.

The festival cost is $10 per day or $25 for an all-weekend pass. Kids 12 and under are free. Buy tickets here - ticket purhase links are at the bottom of the page.

Lewis and Clark Festival Park will be the site for outdoor concerts, jamming, kids activities and open mic for bands or individuals. 

A camping area across from the park adjacent to Chip-n-Dale Upholstry will be open for RV's and tent camping for a $25 fee.

Attendees can also catch a showing of The Winding Stream movie about the Cash and Carter Family.

Other Events at  different locations around the city have been added to give a get a taste of the town.

The Dalles is a Lewis & Clark heritage site and the fiddle music from the expedition will be performed. 

Find all event details and locations here.

The bluegrass festival has gained the support of The Dalles Area Chamber of Commerce, Wasco Cultural Trust and Bubbaville - a nonprofit group named after the late, great square dance caller, musician and community organizer Bill “Bubba” Martin who was at the heart of the Portland old-time music scene.

The Dalles, Ore., March 24, 2025 — Welcome aboard Scoot- AIR. Your captain Andrew Tumlinson, above, is in charge of the flight preparations and take off. Please place your seats in an upward position as your crew approaches the runway. 12-year-old Tumlinson is piloting this spring break today at The Dalles Skate Park along with his friend and co-pilot Damian Chavez, 12.

If you look to your left or right, you will see two warm days ahead with highs in the 70s and mostly sunny skies.

Your connecting flight below will be under the control of Summit Bohannon, 30, of The Dalles.

Remember to use your free time as a flotation device.

By Tom Peterson

The Dalles, Ore., March 24, 2025 — You gotta have the cash if you want that green grass.

The Dalles City Council is set to consider permanently funding the cost of water to irrigate local parks and fields at their regular meeting tonight, March 23 at 5:30 p.m.

Council will consider authorizing City Manager Matthew Klebes to enter Intergovernmental Funding Agreements ss with Wasco County and the Northern Wasco County Parks and Recreation District.

The agreements would provide city funding to cover water service costs for the county's Kramer Fields and the district's parks, totaling $192,000.

That in turn, would free up funds for other park services for both the Park District and Wasco County.

The decision looks to be a bit of a wack-a-mole.

The proposed agreements follow the council's November 2024 decision to amend the city's transient lodging tax policy, taking back direct payments to the parks district.

Before the decision, Parks & Rec. received 18.75 percent of the lodging tax - roughly $320,000 annually of the total $1.8 million collected.

The money was relied on pays for basic maintenance at local parks, said Northern Wasco County Parks and Recreation Director Scott Baker last September. And its potential loss could lead to having to cut services.

The lodging money wass used for maintenance of the park system in The Dalles which includes 8 different parks and other recreation facilities - City Park, Firehouse Park, Howe Park, Kiwanis Park, Riverfront Park, Sorosis Park, The Dalles Skate Park, Thompson Park, Mountain Bike Skills Park, Riverfront Trail and The Dalles Aquatic Center.

No matter how you slice it, taxpayers end up footing the bill either in park costs or utility costs. The question is who wins and who loses in the final budget tally or each agency and how are park and city services impacted respectively?

Discourse at tonight’s meeting could lay those details bare.

In the City Council background information, city staff emphasize that while the funding for water supports park maintenance, approving the funding could lead to similar funding requests from other entities.

In addition to the funding agreements, the council will discuss a new emergency services mapping tool called "Perimeter," consider a resolution on nuisance abatement costs at 1290 West 8th Street, and review a legal settlement agreement involving the City of Laurel, Mississippi v. Cintas Corporation No. 2.

Click here for all of the background information and meeting agenda.

Public comments are welcome, and citizens can attend in person or view the meeting via livestream. Registration for online participation is available through the city clerk’s office by noon on Monday.

The council is also scheduled to enter an executive session for labor negotiations, with any decisions announced upon reconvening.

For more details, visit the city's website at thedalles.org.

By Tom Peterson 

The Dalles, Ore., March 23, 2025 — The City of The Dalles approved the 28-unit subdivision in West The Dalles at the corner of 15th and Kingsley streets on Friday, March 21.

JR Pullen of Pullen Holdings now has the green light to move forward on the project. 

“I drive by it everyday,”  JR Pullen said of the property back in January. “We’re excited…” 

This new subdivision will be built on a 5-acre lot formerly owned by the Schultens family with lot sizes ranging from more than 8,000 square feet to a touch over 5,000 square feet. 

Pullen is also the owner and operator of Columbia Gorge Affordable Homes at 1320 West 2nd Street. He said his company will also be selling the manufactured homes that will be installed in the new neighborhood. 

Plans for this subdivision come after years of low housing stock in The Dalles. Some recent estimates indicate that as many as 500 housing units are needed to fulfill current demand. 

Most notably, younger people and service workers who are looking for a starter home are often priced out of the market. The median home price in The Dalles sits around $350,000. Prices jacked up on Pandemic buying to hedge against inflation and the great online work migration have been key factors in this catapult in home prices.

And while many knock on manufactured homes for not holding their value - that is thinking that was borne out of decades past.  Realtors are quick to point out new manufactured homes meet building code requirements, and they are proving to hold or increase in value as housing prices continue to increase. 

In The Dalles in mid- March, total houses on the market were at 49, according to Principal Broker and Manager Dennis Morgan at Copperwest Real Estate.

That is not an historic low, but it is far off of the 100+ listings that indicate a healthy market, according to some.

The new subdivision will have private streets with a limited home owners association or HOA for street maintenance. Pullen said the HOA will not be restrictive in nature, for example dictating house colors, but rather pay for snow plowing when necessary.  

He said he was doing his best to keep new homes in the subdivision affordable.

“We’re trying to bring affordability back to The Dalles,” he said. “This will be an opportunity for people to buy a home and build wealth… It’s the American dream.” 

But it is not easy. 

He was still unsure of final house prices in January because he needs final engineering plans to help calculate real construction costs.

Site plan shows the location of lots and street layout.

However, the 5-acre piece of raw land is valued at $500,000, and the cost of a manufactured home with  three bedroom two bath is around $150,000. Streets and utilities will also impact prices. A very loose estimate could put the cost at $300,000 to $350,00 once completed.

And that is inexpensive… relative to the other subdivisions that have been approved in The Dalles in recent months and years. 

For example, suggested prices on spec. homes in the Park Place subdivision just west of Sorosis Park currently range between $485,000 and $619,000.

Rate to Date

Mortgage interest rates seem to be stuck around 6.5 percent with no sign of change in the near future. Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell is not expected to make any decisions on the Federal interest rate until June, according to Forbes. The Federal Reserve's interest rate decisions, specifically the federal funds rate, indirectly influence the interest rates banks charge on their loans, including mortgages, credit cards, and auto loans. 

Payment on a $350k home $2,300 a month

So for example, a family purchasing a $350,000 house in a traditional home loan at 6.5 percent interest must come up with 20 percent down or $70,000. And if they can jump that hurdle, they end up strapped to a $2,300 monthly payment for the mortgage, property taxes and house insurance for the next 30 years. To be comfortable in a payment of that size, a family should gross $110,000 annually. 

Two earners would both have to make $27.50 an hour to make the cut in this scenario. That simply is not happening for many in the service industries. 

When WILL the market be right?

It appears two things will have to happen to bring prices down - first a build out of housing that outpaces demand in The Dalles area, which is more difficult than in other places, which are not impacted by the Columbia Gorge Scenic Act and thus hemmed in by strict urban growth boundaries. And second, interest rates must come down to put homeownership in reach.

Read CCCNews’ recent stories on subdivisions and housing projects  that have been approved for The Dalles below: 

TD Planning Approves Block Size Reduction for 29-lot Subdivision Near Hosptial

Major commercial and housing development coming to Lone Pine in TD; Subdivision sells out

City approves 14 more homes for East TD; Ritchie Wallace's 4W Properties to build

Basalt Commons

From the City of White Salmon:

White Salmon, WA — The City of White Salmon and The Bingen-White Salmon Police Department recognized Officer Will Sauter with a Life Saving Award in recognition of his swift and decisive actions that helped save a life during a medical emergency involving a fentanyl overdose.

The award was presented by Chief Mike Hepner during the White Salmon City Council meeting on Wednesday, March 19.

On the day of the incident, Officer Sauter responded after hearing a dispatch for an overdose in progress, with CPR already underway. He was the first to arrive on scene, where he found one man attempting to revive his brother. Officer Sauter immediately took over CPR and administered multiple doses of Naloxone (Narcan), a medication used to reverse opioid overdoses. After several minutes and a final dose, the individual began breathing again and regained a pulse. Emergency medical personnel arrived shortly after and transported the patient to the hospital for further care.

“Officer Sauter took direct, immediate, and positive action to preserve the life of another human being,” said Chief Hepner. 

Police officers are often the first on the scene in crisis situations, playing a vital role in safeguarding lives and responding to medical emergencies. Officer Sauter’s actions reflect the highest standards of public service and align with the mission and values of the Bingen-White Salmon Police Department: to safeguard the rights of all, treat everyone with dignity and compassion, reduce the incidence and fear of crime, ensure justice, and create a safe and vibrant community. For more information about the Bingen-White Salmon Police Department and its ongoing commitment to public safety and community partnership, please visit https://www.whitesalmonwa.gov/police

By Terry Stone of Goldendale

Stone created this paper for Michael Sequeira, Emeritus Professor of Sciences

Here is where I stand as a former computer professional: Artificial Intelligence (AI) is not intelligence, at least not based on any of the multitude of iterations of the Turing Test, which is my go-to for making that determination.

(The Turing Test is a test for intelligence in a computer, requiring that a human being should be unable to distinguish the machine from another human being by using the replies to questions put to both.)

In fact, AI is such an imprecise and even misleading term that I usually cringe when I hear it. AI can sometimes fool humans, but it has never been shown to be self-aware, which is a fundamental part of intelligence as far as I’m concerned. AI is highly prone to error and to making up results (euphemistically and laughably called hallucinations—it can’t possibly just be “wrong”).

Interestingly enough, there are compelling and accurate portrayals of what true AI would look like that can be found in science fiction literature. A humorous romp with an early idea of AI is told in the book The Adolescence of P1 by Thomas J. Ryan. In that novel, a piece of software becomes sentient and inhabits every networked computer in the world to try to preserve itself, with comic and mayhem-filled results.

It even makes friends with the protagonist. In Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Phillip K. Dick—a rather obscure dystopian novel made into the cult Bladerunner movie classics—bounty hunters in a future Los Angeles interrogate arrestees they suspect of being rogue and dangerous androids using a form of Turing Test to try to trip them up and cause them to answer random questions in a way no human would. The scenes are portrayed with rather explosive tension in the first Bladerunner movie.

As used in the industry, AI is a loosely-defined umbrella term for a whole set of types of large-language (LLM) and numerical-prediction (NPM) computing models that tie digital mining of huge datasets with machine learning and digital neural networks. Artificial Intelligence is generally broken into three classes: generative AI, predictive AI, and content-moderation AI. The last two I regard, for the most part, as snake oil. They simply don’t work, yet they have been visited on us at every turn in our on-line and in-person interactions, often against our will and our personal interests. The only predictive AI that functions by producing consistently reliable outcomes are weather-forecasting models (NPMs), and models used in chaos theory, such as those that describe how a natural gas flame ignites and propagates. These AI models only work well because they have access to databases that have been growing for at least the last 30 years (and continue to be added to daily), they have been run continuously on supercomputers, and, most importantly, have had their datasets cleaned of corrupted, irrelevant or misleading information by human intervenors.

And that remains the largest problem with every other class of AI used today: that LLM datasets are too general and too large to be cleaned. No AI is yet capable of cleaning its own datasets, which is why reliability remains an issue. This can be traced back to the vulnerability that no AI can even link to other datasets and be able to determine how clean they are. LLMs, ironically, are too simple and mostly use algorithms to predict what the most common response in its dataset(s) might be for a given string of words or numbers, but no thinking, in the human sense, goes into the process. The AI has no stake in the outcome, so it cannot self-police. It doesn’t know how. In fact most AI coders will confess that beyond a certain point, they have no idea what their AI will do and have not figured out how to make that determination. It feels as inscrutable (impossible to understand) as an Egyptian god.

In addition, all AI software produces results that are often based upon the biases of their coders and developers, making results not just unpredictable and unreliable, but detrimental (or at the very least, lacking a certain veracity) either for or against the bias introduced in programming. Even AI available to the public is still held in private trust, so getting a look under the hood is not possible because corporate developers hide behind trade secret laws. Studies have been privately done on these predictive AI models ostensibly looking for biases in the algorithms, but science, for the most part, cannot be further conducted on those results because they are all kept behind impenetrable trade-secret walls.

AI as an academic concept goes back to 1955, the year I was born. Computer and cognitive scientist John McCarthy, whom I’ve met, coined the term “artificial intelligence” and rather loosely created the structure of the discipline of the field. He worked with the first crude AI language, IPL (Information Processing Language). From 1974 to 1976, I was privileged to spend some time in college with an AI programming language McCarthy later developed as IPL’s cousin called LISP, which stands for LISt Processing. This language pioneered many of the higher-order ideas of computer processing that underlie AI today, such as tree-data structures, large data modeling, and recursion. Given that the computers I worked on back then were slow, building-sized mainframes that sucked electricity like a firehose in reverse and that they had a fraction of the processing power and data storage found in the modern smart phone, the results were uncanny, even human-like when querying software written using the LISP language. With the advent of hybrid circuitry created for the space program, miniaturization in consumer electronics ensued, and over 50 years, it became possible to create mega-server farms with enormous parallel processing capabilities and spectacularly large data storage capacities, as well as a proliferation of peta-bit bandwidth, that finally came together and allowed practical use of LLMs to serve up AI results to end users. That, as we have discussed, is another problem because these server farms consume magnitudes of power greater than our largest mainframes ever would have. It has been detrimental to our electrical grids and to the environment, so AI has residual negative effects never contemplated by its creators.

As a tool, AI shows incredible promise, especially in picking out low-level data in noisy datasets. CT scans and mammography images run through AI software have found hidden cancers that human eyes missed, and have provided very few false results. As this WSJ article shows, AI remains a helper rather than a replacement for humans, but is starting to coalesce into more accurate, more useful products. Even with the advent of powerful AI algorithms like transformers, the concept remains primarily imitative of what it finds in databases. Faced suddenly with unique information missing from its dataset, all AIs are either stumped or produce hallucinations as responses to queries run on the foreign data, depending on how they are written. An AI that’s only seen a rubber ball will still call a marble it’s never seen a “rubber ball”. Or it will say it can’t identify it. AI thus can’t reliably extrapolate the qualitative to the quantitative—and vice-versa—without first having every conceivable iteration of an example in the known universe in a given dataset. That’s a huge handicap.

Computer scientists continue to strive to use AI to explore aspects of reality we could never know otherwise. That aspect of the concept is pretty exciting. As the most brilliant Unix guru I’ve ever known (with the unlikely name of Barry Vines) once told me, “Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.”

If you’d like to get a good scientific reference that is intellectually and practically accessible to the layman on AI, just published in August, 2024, I recommend you purchase AI Snake Oil: What Artificial Intelligence Can Do, What It Can’t, and How to Tell the Difference by Arvind Narayanan and Sayash Kapoor. It has exhaustive end-notes and a comprehensive index that can take you down any number of AI rabbit trails to inspire an aspiring author's science-fiction writing.